


redemption lies plainly in truth

by camdotcom



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Fluff, how the hell do you tag i don't understand anything, i live and die by the sbi family dynamic, no beta we die like men, well i put it through grammarly if that counts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29595885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camdotcom/pseuds/camdotcom
Summary: in which everyone finally fucking talks to each other. this is the therapy arc they all deserve.
Relationships: Tommyinnit & Tubbo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	redemption lies plainly in truth

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from "achilles come down" by gang of youths!! the chapter title is from "teen idle" by marina and the diamonds :)

Sitting on the bench, Tubbo by his side, discs safely in his enderchest, the lilting song of Blocks playing, Tommy felt almost at peace. Knowing Dream was locked up in that prison, dark and inescapable, Tommy felt almost safe. With Tubbo sitting next to him, smiling softly as they looked out over the sun lowering on the horizon, everything felt almost right. 

"I've missed this," Tubbo said with a sigh. He tore his gaze away from the dazzling reds and oranges of the sky to look at Tommy. Tommy was almost smiling, but his eyebrows were furrowed in the middle. It aged him incredibly. It looked a bit wrong. "What's wrong?" 

Tommy exhaled. He could feel his breath shaking, but he was almost certain Tubbo couldn't see it. "I've thought about this moment. A lot. So many times," Tommy said with a sigh so shaky it could almost be a laugh. "And every time I saw this moment in my head, I always thought Wilbur would be here." 

There was a beat of silence. Tubbo didn't know Wilbur the way he did. To Tubbo, Wilbur was a friend, a friend of a friend. But to Tommy, Wilbur used to be everything. They had been brothers in every way except blood. And even then, they'd fought together so many times, spilt both their own blood and others, that they might as well have been brothers by blood. 

"I wonder what he'd think of us," Tubbo shifted. Blocks had nearly finished playing. "I think he'd be proud. We finally did it. We finished it." 

Tommy's eyes were fixed on the horizon. He didn't know where else to look. He didn't want Tubbo to see straight through to his soul. So he kept looking at the sky. 

"I don't know anymore." The sun had melted into pinks and oranges and yellows, leaving deep blues behind them. Tommy shrugged halfheartedly. "I don't know, Tubbo. We're not the same people we used to be." 

After a brief silence, Tubbo perked up. "I'm still me," he said. He playfully reached over and poked Tommy on the chest. "You're still you." There was a small smile playing across his face. Tommy missed his smile. They'd spent too much time fighting. 

"Yeah, but..." Tommy struggled to put it into words. "But not really. Before, we were just kids. Now? I've been exiled twice out of my own country--" Tubbo winced, "--and then L'manburg's been blown up twice, and you've been the fucking president for god's sake, and it's only been, what? Seven months? Maybe eight months? We've gone through war after war after war and it's all just--" Tommy rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm not the same kid who started L'manburg with Wilbur. You sure as hell aren't, either." 

There was another quiet beat. The sun sank lower. Tommy almost missed Ponk's old tower, the familiar shape of it against the skyline. He looked down to where Puffy's duck used to be. He missed the way its stupid Santa hat looked in the valley. He missed so much about this place. The nostalgia for the not-so-distant past hit him in the chest with a pang. He missed the thrill of the revolution, of going into battle with almost nothing but his closest friends -- his family. 

He missed Wilbur. 

"I barely knew Will, in the end," Tommy said, willing the tears that stung his eyes back to where they came from. Softly, he continued, "I only made him president because… he said I'd never be president." He distantly felt Tubbo's hand on his shoulder. He apparently had found something very interesting in the grass, as he wouldn't take his eyes off of it. He had to restrain himself from explaining every bad decision, every mistake he'd made along the way. He would, eventually. Someday, he'd manage to apologize for everything. Tubbo deserved as much. 

"He was different," Tubbo said quietly. The timid way he said it made Tommy instantly wish he'd never even brought it up. "He was… angry."

"All the time." Tommy swung his leg, dragging his shoe through the cool grass. "I feel bad for it, but… I don't miss the Will that he was at the end. Those last few weeks weren't really him. Not the guy that I knew, at least." 

"Ghostbur was nice," Tubbo suggested, and Tommy finally gave the tiniest hint of a smile. "I liked his lanterns." 

"I liked his library." Tommy smiled, however small. "He had the Declaration of Independance. And all of his memory books. I think he had Fundy's spy's diary, too. And," Tommy laughed dryly, "he had 'How to Sex 2.'" 

Tubbo sat straight up, then bent over with laughter. "Really?" 

"Yeah," Tommy said, letting a grin spread across his face. "I'll be honest, I'm definitely glad that got blown up in the explosion." 

Tubbo's smile faded slightly. "Yeah. It's probably for the better, honestly." He sat back against the bench. "Well, it's a good thing Ghostbur always has some blue on him. Good thing we didn't blow up all his stores of it." 

Tommy chuckled. "Yeah. He was always bringing that stuff everywhere. Good thing Friend has infinite lives." 

"I remember when he first got Friend," Tubbo said, initially lightheartedly, but his expression quickly turned sour. "It was… it was the day we executed Technoblade." 

Tommy turned away, looking back at the sunset. The pinks were fading fast, just leaving the blues and blacks to overtake the sky. Even still, the sun peeked stubbornly over the horizon. It provided no warmth. Tommy shifted closer to Tubbo on the bench, suppressing a small shiver. 

Well, Tommy thought, while we're out here talking about everything.  
"I miss Techno, too," Tommy admitted. Tubbo's gaze felt slightly judgemental, but Tommy couldn't blame him. He hadn't exactly had the most positive run-ins with the powerhouse since becoming the child ruler of a decimated country. His judgement was warranted. 

"I know you didn't really know him super well, or anything. But he was,,," Tommy once again struggled to put it into words. Techno, for better or for worse, was a constant in Tommy's world. He wasn't a brother, per se, but in the exact same sense, he absolutely was a brother. Things didn't make too much sense when it came to Techno. He miraculously survived his own execution, for fuck's sake. 

"He was family." Tommy wasn't completely satisfied with that. "He's my brother the way you're my brother." He nudged at Tubbo with his elbow, who smiled sheepishly and fell against his side easily. "It's different with Techno. Wilbur was always… I don't know. Brotherly? But it was always just different with Techno."

"I get it," Tubbo said, and Tommy looked over at him. This time, it was Tubbo's turn to look off into the distance. The sky was almost all blue now. Tommy had expected the black to envelop the blue by now, but the blue was still stubbornly painting the sky. "Wilbur was always like an older brother to me, too. Not as much as you, definitely not, but he still treated me like I was just his little brother." Tubbo smiled as he went on. "Like...like when you got yourself stuck between the pistons and the redstone blocks and I started drowning you and Wilbur told me to stop but he just kept laughing until you called Phil to help you. And Techno was just… there. He just wasn't brotherly like that. Not to me, at least." 

"Yeah," Tommy said. "Still miss him, though. He helped me when everyone thought I was dead or something. And after Doomsday, after all the TNT and the Withers, after Techno and Phil teamed with Dream… I lost everyone that day." He looked over at Tubbo and nudged him again. "Everyone but you. I just can't seem to get rid of you." Tubbo beamed. Tommy suppressed another shiver. "Come on, it's getting cold. Let's go inside."

"Your house is made of dirt." 

"You don't have a house."

As they made their way inside, Tommy wanted so desperately to talk about something funny, something happy, something that didn't remind him of Dream or his dead brother or his family who abandoned him, but nothing came to mind. Nothing but Tubbo. It was just him and Tubbo, really. Tommy had managed to get just about everyone else to hate his guts. He told Tubbo so. 

"That's not true," Tubbo replied immediately. "Sam still likes you. Puffy likes you still, I think. She hasn't told me otherwise." He sat quietly in thought for a moment. He looked funny when he tapped his chin, like a caricature of a thinking person. "I don't think Sapnap hates you anymore. And Jack has always been friendly, mostly. And Niki. And… well Fundy doesn't really like anyone currently, so that doesn't really count. And Quackity was the one who tried to convince me the most that you… that you shouldn't be exiled. And Ranboo still likes us both!" 

"Yeah, but… Ranboo is as good as allied with Techno, who definitely doesn't like me that much after the whole thing at the community house. I never see Sapnap anymore. I have this feeling that Jack and Niki are mad at me for some reason." Tommy thought for a moment. "And, actually, I haven't seen Fundy or Quackity in a while, either." 

The silence was so loud. All of their former friends, former allies… felt so distant. Tommy had managed to piss them all off. Tubbo, as the president of L'manburg, had had to make some choices that may have also pissed off some people. Though, in his defence, there wasn't anything to be president of anymore. That had to count for something. 

A terrible thought came to Tommy's mind. 

"The only person besides Ranboo who came to see me in exile, really…" 

Tommy hadn't finished the sentence before Tubbo's eyes flashed with understanding. He shook his head vigorously. "No." He said sternly. "Absolutely not. He is not your friend. He was never your friend." 

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, I know. But it felt like it. It was just me out there, and sometimes Ghostbur. The only person I saw every day, guaranteed, was Dream." 

Tubbo grabbed Tommy's shoulder and forced him to meet his eyes. "Tommy. Dream is not your friend. Dream was never your friend. All he did was lie to you, try to get on your good side." 

Tommy nodded again. No words were coming to his mouth. He nodded. 

"I don't really know what happened to you out there, but I know that all he did was lie to you and take your things and scare you so bad you kept stealing Techno's golden apples so you wouldn't stop having the saturation effect." 

Tommy nodded. "He… he didn't just take my stuff. He would…" Tommy rubbed a palm over his face. "He'd dig a hole, two or three blocks deep, and he'd tell me to put my stuff in the hole. All my armour, all my tools, all my food. Everything I had in my inventory. I got diamond armour… shit, three or four times. Every day, he'd come and make me throw everything in the hole, then he'd put TNT in the hole and shoot it with his fancy flame bow. Every day, he'd come and blow up all the progress I made." He swallowed. "Eventually, Ghostbur and I made Logstedshire. Well, mostly Ghostbur. I was mining most of the time. Mining or trying to find a place to hide my stuff." 

Tommy tried not to grimace as he turned over the things Dream had done to him in his head. He hadn't let himself think about any of this since it had happened, let alone try to tell someone else. It was easier to leave it behind, he'd thought, easier to pretend it had never happened. But every time he saw TNT, every time anyone had been aggressive towards him, he'd frozen up, stuck in the memories. He vividly remembered a moment when Techno had raised his voice while Tommy was living with him, and his first instinct was to begin to empty his entire inventory onto the floor. He would have lit the fuse if he could. Techno had jokingly poked fun at Tommy's "enthusiasm" to return the things he stole, but he didn't raise his voice in that way again. 

He couldn't just say that to Tubbo. It sounded stupid. There was no way he was going to say that. 

And yet there he was, saying all of that to Tubbo. Once he got started, the words just tumbled out. He wasn't sure he was even making full, coherent sentences at that point. It may have just been words at that point.

He thought the words would hurt as they came out. And they did, in a way, just not the way he'd expected. He could feel the pricks in his chest as he said it all, but his shoulders loosened with relief. He couldn't bring himself to look at Tubbo. He didn't want his pity. 

His voice felt quiet, his throat tight like the confession was stuck there, refusing to come out. "I hated him." He swallowed thickly. He refused to let his voice crack. "I hated him. I wanted him dead. I still do," Tommy gazed to the right where the prison stood, just far enough away that he couldn't quite see it, "but I really wanted him dead then. If he was dead, he would stop visiting." He swallowed again. It hurt his throat a bit. "But then there would be no one. He was… it was just me and him. Day after day. There was no one else." 

Tommy finally looked up at Tubbo. Tubbo was looking at him with something in his teary eyes that Tommy couldn't quite place. There was pity, but it didn't set Tommy aflame with rage like he'd thought it would. There was so much regret in there, and it took every strong bone he had not to cry himself. 

"Why didn't you come to visit me?" Tommy's voice did crack this time, but he barely even noticed. Tubbo lurched forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Tommy's neck. 

"I wanted to," Tubbo said, and Tommy could feel his friend's tears on his shirt. "Th-they wouldn't let me. And I had-I had to keep up appearances with Dream. If I'd have known everything would have just gotten blown up anyway…" Tubbo pulled away, wiping his face ungracefully. He took a mournful glance over his shoulder towards the unfortunate remains of L'manburg. 

"It's okay," Tommy said, and he meant it. This hadn't fixed everything, nowhere close, but it was something. Progress. He'd heard Puffy was opening a therapy office, and she was always friendly with him before. He knew she'd have a booming business. "Maybe the real L'manburg was the friends we made along the way." He elbowed Tubbo again, and he smiled through his tears, laughing a little. 

"Wilbur would be proud of you, Tommy." Tubbo said it in such a matter-of-fact way that it hit Tommy straight in the chest. There was no tearful waver in his voice this time. "We fought for L'manburg. We died for it. You died for it. We did the impossible. We beat Dream." 

"Yeah," Tommy said, his heart feeling impossibly big in his chest. Despite it all, he felt himself smile. They had made it. They'd seen another sunset. He laughed once, feeling himself lose his fight against his tears. They were warm against his cool skin. The glowstone street lamps illuminated the Prime Path just behind him, light hitting the jukebox. He wanted to listen to Blocks, just one more time. Maybe they'd play Cat this time. He laughed again, a breathy, barely-there thing. It felt more like a sigh. "We did, didn't we?"


End file.
